Wednesday, August 24, 2011


A break from the 30 in 30 to write the Sharkbaby's 7 month letter.

My dearest Bubby,

I can't believe what a big boy you're turning into! You are a very independent and happy boy most of the time.

You love to sit up by yourself and play with your toys. You don't like to be strapped into things like the stroller, carseat, highchair, or grocery cart. You want to be free to move and play. However, you aren't showing much interest in mobility yet. You will roll from your tummy to back, but not from back to tummy. When you're on your tummy you can scoot yourself backward, but not forward, and spin in circles to get to what you want.

Your daddy is your favorite person in the whole world. When he walks into a room your face lights up, you get excited, and start to squeal and laugh. You love to clap your hands and you always clap for Daddy. You also love Sesame Street, puppets, and anything with music to annoy Mommy.

This week you went to playgroup for the first time with some new friends while Mommy went to work. You were such a good and happy boy! You love to be around other kids and make new friends. You sort of think that the world is all here to entertain you.

This month you also learned that you love popsicles, and that you know how to wave bye-bye. Anytime we walk past the front door you wave. I think it's just a little bit adorable.

Your favorite foods are squash, sweet potatoes, and pears. You think it's hysterically funny when I use my mouth to clean off your hands after a meal. It always makes you laugh. We also saw our first tooth this month. I think a second is not far behind.

My favorite time of day with you is when we read stories right after your bath. I love to use silly voices and do things to make you laugh. You always smell so good right after your tubby, and you love to just snuggle with me and read stories.

Well, my sweet little man, I love you so much! I look forward to all the new adventures we get to have together in the future.

All my love,

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Day 15 - The person you miss the most

Dear Baby Boy,
This letter is supposed to be to the person I miss the most, and right at this moment, that person is you. I'm at work and you're probably at home with Daddy.
You're going to learn in your life that not all mommys go to work. Some mommys get to work at home by taking care of their babies. But not your mommy. Your mommy works in a hospital. She is a nurse that takes care of sick people. And honestly, my sweet little monkey, I'm a better mom to you because I go to work.
I am grateful, though, to the moms that do stay home, because it gives me a place to send you when I work during the day time. We are truly blessed, little man, to have friends that will take you in as one of their own for a few hours a week. It does this momma's heart good to know that you are being loved and taken care of.
You see, Monkey, as much as I love you I need something else to fill up some of my time. I don't do well when the days stretch out in front of me without the structure of somewhere to be at a certan time. Also, you'd be awfully sick of me if I were around every second of every day. But I do miss you while I'm at work. I think about you the whole time I'm away, and I look forward to whenever I get to see you next. Because, little man, I love you so so much. You will always be my little monkey man.
I love you, baby, every second of everyday.


Day 14 - Someone you’ve drifted away from

Dear Colt,
Ha, bet you didn't think that you'd get one of these, huh? I guess it was inevitable that we'd drift apart, since it's incredibly difficult for married men and women to be friends.
I've been thinking about you lately, wondering how you are, wondering what you're doing with your life, hoping that you've found all the happiness you deserve.
Remember the good old days? Sunday dinners, hot tubbing, game nights, Harmon's rolls, and all the other fun times? We might have been a little crazy, but it was always fun! Remember when we graduated from college and we wanted to freak our parents out by walking together? It's probably a good thing we didn't, my mom would have killed me!
I guess we've both chosen a path in life that won't allow us to be the crazy cat lady and the mean old goat man. Well, we still could be, but we'd have to bring our spouses with us.
Did you know that I consider you one of my best friends? Anytime something good happens to me you're one of the first people I want to call. My husband still makes fun of me for making the drive down for your wedding. I found an old picture of us when I was cleaning out my craft room a few weeks ago. It made me smile, and I put it up on a bulletin board to remind me of when we used to be young and carefree without any real responsibility.
Anyway, Colt, I hope that you are happy. I hope that your life is turning out to be everything you hoped and dreamed it would and could. Please know that you'll always hold a special place in my heart as a member of my Southern Utah family.
Love you long time!

Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you

To Whom it May Concern:

Are you still holding a grudge against me? I'm sorry, I don't know who you are, or what I did to wrong you. Please forgive me.


Day 12 - Someone that caused you the most pain

Dear Self,

I'm choosing to write this letter to you, because I really have no one else to blame for the pain that has occured in my life. Any offense I have encountered has generally been because I have chosen to be offended.

Don't get me wrong, there are outside contributing factors. This boy or that hurt you. Things didn't go the way you wanted. It's always easier to blame someone else for the pains that life brings. But I can't, in good conscience, write an honest letter to someone else about my pain.

I know that we can't control other peoples' actions, but we can control our REactions. And, generally speaking, the pains I have felt in this life have been brought about in some part by my poor choices. I chose to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I chose to date the wrong person. I chose...

And so, I have no one to blame for life's trials except myself. So, self, here's to life's hardships. May we persevere through many more.


Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear Grandma Great,

I think often of the last time I saw you. You were staying with Grandpa and Jennie and you were quite sick. You were feeling particularly bad that day, so you were resting on your bed. I was able to lie down next to you and just have a chat. We talked about school, my goals for the future, dating, and so many other things. You held my hand and told me you were proud of me. We both cried a little bit. I think we knew it would be the last time we saw each other.

I love the story about your final temple recommend. You knew that your end was near, and you wanted to leave this world the way you entered it: pure. It is a memory of you that I will treasure and pass on to my own children.

Grandma, I am under no illusions that your life was easy. I'm sure that Wilmer could be a difficult slot-head to live with, but he was your difficult slot-head, wasn't he. And to lose the babies that you did, how heart wrenching! But you lived your life with poise and grace.

Did you know that because of you I thought all grandmas were supposed to have brown hair? I couldn't figure out why some had gray or white. I think that I'll probably follow in your footsteps that way. I guess it helps to have a daughter that knows how to fix it just the way you like it, though.

Did you know that I'm a momma now? Of course you do, I'm sure you were up there in heaven prepping my little one for life in this crazy family. He's a sweet boy. Very good-natured and even-tempered. He is smiley, and happy, and so so smart. You would be proud of him. I'm going to teach him all about what good people he comes from.

Grandma, thank you so much for being an example to me. You are a wonderful woman. A woman that I will name one of my daughters after (even though I know that will make you unhappy since you never liked your name). I look forward to seeing you again someday on the other side.



Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as often as you’d like

Dear Lauren,
I miss you! Life, and some crazy adventures, brought us together... and then drifted us apart again.

Look at us both today. Who would've ever thought that we'd end up here. We're both old married ladies with little ones of our own. I look back on that night on the beach at Powell when we sat up talking for hours. Did you know, even then, that you'd marry Steve? I had a feeling that the two of you would end up together.

I still remember when the two of you were trying to decide whether you were going to get married or not. You hadn't had a chance to tell me that you'd made a decision when Jake leaked the info to me. I loved being able to be a part of that special day, and the secret-ness of it all.

Well, my dearest Lauren, I love you and I miss you. I hope that life and circumstances will drift us back together again someday.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Day 9: Someone You Wish You Could Meet

Dear Sarah,

I'm not particularly sure how to begin this letter, or even where I'm going with it, so I guess I'll start with "hi". I'm quite a big fan of yours, Ms. Allen. I recommend your books to everyone I know, and anytime you have a new one coming out I make sure to pre-order it so I can read it asap.

You see Sarah (may I call you Sarah? I feel like I already know you so well), something about your stories has taken root within me. I feel like your characters are more than just fictional beings, but that they are truly friends of mine. When I read "Garden Spells" I can picture myself cooking with Claire Waverley, or lying in the grass under the apple tree with Bay. I feel like Willa and I would get along fantastically well, and I would've loved to help her solve the mystery in her life. Mostly, I want to spend a day with Josie Mancini, though. I want to sit in her closet with her and munch on candy and read travel magazines. Because, in a lot of ways, when you wrote Josie you were writing me.

I love the way you incorporate "everyday magic" into your stories and characters. It has truly made me stop and look at people in a different light. It has also made me curious about what my own magic would be. Like Josie, I believe that red is a magical color for me. Like Evenlyn, I feel that we need to act on the promptings and compulsions to help others. Like Claire, I think that there is something so telling about food.

And now, on a more personal note, I want to tell you how sorry I am that you have been faced with the trial and tragedy of cancer. Anytime I see somebody as vibrant as yourself struck by this particular ailment, I just cry inside (and a little outside, too). From everything I have seen and learned about you, you are a fighter. You will do things on your own terms, and you will win. And so, it is that particular bit of magic that gives me hope. It gives me hope that you will live a long and full life and continue sharing your magic with the rest of us humble humans.

So, basically what I'm trying to say is this: Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for the magic, the laughter, the tears, the joy, and the friends. Thank you for the inspiration, the stories, and for being who you are.



Day 8: Your Favorite Internet Friend

Dear People of the Internet,
There was once a point in time where I had many friends that I knew only in the online world. This is no longer the case. I think, at this point in time, that I may not have any strictly "internet" friends. I have people that I only know of through the net, but most of them have no idea who I am. I stalk blogs, read people's life stories, get to know all about them (or at least the person they portray), but for the most part they don't know I exist.

You see, my life has changed dramatically in the course of a few years. I managed to find (and keep, and marry) a good man. Together we have a beautiful son. I have a career, good friends, and a wonderfully supportive family. I have come to know and love myself. I no longer need to rely on the kindness and friendship of complete strangers. I have built myself a support system of wonderful people, people that I can go to lunch with, people that can give me an actual (and not just virtual) hug and shoulder to cry on.

I feel that as I've come to know and respect who I am as a person, I've lost the need for outside validation. I'm ok with being who I am, and I know longer need to portray myself a certain way to make "friends".

Anyway, what I'm getting at, is that I couldn't possibly write a letter to my favorite internet friend, because that person doesn't exist. So, dear people of the internet, thank you for your support while I figured out who I am.

Day 7: Your Ex-Boyfriend

Dear Collective Exes,

You are not a large group of individuals, but you were each significant in my life somehow. Once upon a time I was a bit bitter and angry about how things played out with each of you. But, once I grew up some, I finally realized what I had learned from each of you.

From you I learned how to laugh and how to cry. I learned patience, trust, and respect. I learned that, sometimes, I shouldn't wait for you. I learned that it is possible for a person's past to ruin their present. I learned that absence does not, in fact, make the heart grow fonder.

Mostly, what each of you taught me, was the importance of loving myself. You all taught me that unless I loved who I was first, no one else would love me for me. It took me a long time, a lot of mistakes, and many sleepless nights, but I made it... and each of you was a stepping stone to get me to where I am today.

So, thank you. Thank you for teaching me the things I didn't know I needed to learn. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again.


Day 6: A Stranger

Dear Homer and Langley Collyer,

I just finished reading a book about you by Mr. Doctorow. I know that the book is a work of fiction, however, I also know that it is loosely based on fact. Really, I feel bad for you.

I'll be honest, I don't understand hoarding. It doesn't make any sense to me. I get that it's a compulsion and a disease. In most cases, it is something that can't be helped. But, really, a Model T in the dining room? And I can't believe that you literally worked poor Siobhan to death.

Homer, why did you never find help for your brother? You knew that he wasn't right. You may have been the one with the obvious disability, but you were infinitely more stable than Langley. You knew that his collecting was not normal. Was it just not worth the fight?

You were old enough when you lost your sight to remember how your house looked when it was still a home. I'm sure you could picture in your mind how it looked on the street amongst the other 5th Avenue brownstones. I'm sure it stood tall and proud across the street from Central Park. I've been to Manhattan. I know what that part of town looks like. I can see why your neighbors were upset with what what going on.

Anyway, having read the fictional account of your lives, I'd be interested in doing more research into the actual accounts of your lives. I want to know the why and how of your situation. I want to know what made you tick. I want to know who you were.

Thank you for piquing my interest. Unfortunately, we will always be strangers, since you are long since dead. However, I will know you someday.


(For those that would like to read this interesting account of these brothers the book is called Homer and Langley by E.L. Doctorow)

Day 5: Your Dreams

To Whom it May Concern,
I'm not exactly sure how one goes about writing a letter to their dreams, or if it is even a possibility, so I will just leave it at this:

Hello, dreams, nice to meet you. I hope we continue to get to know each other in the future.



Saturday, August 13, 2011

Day 4: Your Sibling(s)

Dear Maddie, Zach, and McKay,
You guys freaking rock my world. I seriously have the best siblings of anyone I know. We always have so much fun together, and I consider you guys my friends as well as my siblings.
Maddie, you are, beyond a doubt, my favorite sister. I am so glad that we have grown up to be the kind of women that can be best friends on top of being sisters. I know that I can tell you anything and you won't judge me for it. You are one of the strongest, smartest, kindest, funniest, beautiful-est (sorry, had to keep the pattern going) women that I know. Even though you are my little sister, both in stature and in age, I look up to you so much. You are driven and determined, and not afraid to go after what you want in life. You are going to make a fantastic wife and mother someday, and I look forward to watching you take on new adventures in your life.
Zach, you are, and always have been, such a good kid. You are kind and helpful, always putting others before yourself. You are honest, hard working, and loyal. I know that if I ever have a problem with something you will be first in line to help me fix it. It has been a pleasure to watch you grow from a boy to the man you have become. I anticipate watching you achieve the goals you have set for yourself.
McKay, what can I say, dude, you are the life of the party! Our family just wasn't complete until you came along. You are such a good kid, smart, funny, well-read, and kind. You are truly a friend to everyone you meet. You are my book-buddy, my field trip buddy, and just my buddy. I love watching you play with the Sharkbaby, and I know he is going to love doing cool stuff with his Uncle Mac. You always know how to make me laugh, and can cheer me up when I'm having a bad day. I am so excited to watch you mature and turn into as awesome of a grown up as you are a kid.
There you have it, guys, the reasons I love you so much. I might be your big sister, but you all give me an example of how to strive to be a better person each day. I look forward to many more happy times together and to seeing our bonds grow stroner.
I love you guys!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Day 3: Your Parents

Dearest Darlingest Mumsy and Popsicle (yeah, I stole that from Wicked),
Where do I begin? Did you know that I love you guys? It's true, I do. You're the best parents I could ask for. You've given me a great example of how to raise my own children, and I'm a better mom to the Sharkbaby because of you.
Even when I went through rough patches in my life, you never gave up on me. You stood by me, you gave me some tough love, and you were always there when I needed you.
Mom, the older I get the more I realize just how alike we are. You know what it feels like to be a new wife and mother, and I appreciate your willingness to listen to me. You are such a fantastic nana to the Sharkbaby, and I know he loves you very, very much. I mean, come on, he sleeps better for you, he's happier for you, and you spoil him. How could he not love you?
Dad, you just sort of "get" me, and you always have. We have a lot more in common than how we look, that's for sure. You taught me what sort of man I needed to marry, and you are a great example to Curious George about how to be a good husband and father. Sharkbaby loves his Pops, too, but you always have been a bit of "baby whisperer".
Even though I'm grown up, I still love coming home. I know that it will always be someplace I'll be welcome, loved, and happy. I hope that I can provide that sort of environment for my own family someday.
Anyway, that's enough mushy stuff for one day. I love you guys, and I always will.
Love you,

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Day 2: Your Crush

Hm, could be interesting, considering I'm married, and all.

Dear Ryan Reynolds,
Hi, you have no idea who I am... but I know who you are. Not in like a weird, stalker-y way, but still. I've been a fan of yours for a long time. I used to watch you on Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place. When I was in high school I had a picture of you hanging on my bedroom wall, I think I'd cut it out of Seventeen magazine. That's also where I learned that your middle name is Rodney. Strange, that I've hung onto that little nugget of information all these years.

Anyway, I really like that you're Canadian. I think that's pretty rad. I have a soft spot in my heart for Canada, seeing as how I grew up watching hockey. Personally, my team is the Canadiennes. My whole family cheers for the 'Wings, though.

So, I think I first fell a little bit in love with you when I saw you shirtless in Blade. Can I just say: Yum. And then there was The Proposal. You were just so damn likable in that movie. Plus, again, the shirtless scene (so, so naked).

Anyway, I'm married with a little boy, which makes this whole "letter to your crush" thing extra awkward. Pretty sure my husband would be ok with you stopping by for both of us to gaze at, though. Cause that wouldn't be weird, right?

Well, Ryan, I hope you have a lovely day. And I'll just keep crushing on you from mormon-mommy-land.

Best Wishes,

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Day 1: Best Friend

Dearest Ally,

It's no secret that you are my best friend, and really, you've earned the title! Can you believe we've known each other for as long as we have? 14 years is a long time. Mind blowing moment of my day: we've known each other longer than we'd been alive when we met.

While we don't see each other as often as I'd like, I truly can't picture my life without you. Anytime I have good news you are the first person I want to call. When I got engaged I called you right after I told my family. When I found out I was pregnant, again, I called you right after I talked to my family. Because, honestly, you are my family.

I completely believe that, in life, we have the family we are born into, and the family you choose for yourself. In you, I have made a good choice. You are my second sister.

You have taught me so much about life. You are a strong and beautiful woman who is not afraid to chase after her dreams. I am so proud of all that you have accomplished in your life. I know that you are a wonderful wife to Shad, and will someday make a fantastic mother. And when that day comes, I will be right there to celebrate with you, cry with you, and laugh with you, the way you did with me.

You have been there for me through everything. Through the good things, the bad things, the beautiful, the ugly, the laughter, and the tears. When I made dumb choices, you didn't desert me. You always know just what I need to hear, even if I don't want to hear it.

I apologize if this is beginning to sound a bit like a love letter, but, it's bound to, because I DO love you. Not in the romantic way, we're both old married ladies, but with a deep love, nonetheless.

No matter what comes between us, be it time, distance, careers, or other obligations, you will always be my best friend. In the wise words of ee cummings:

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
I love you, Ally, always!
Love, Me

P.S.- I'm kind of a big, hormonal baby and cried while I wrote this.


Daily inspiration list found here.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


So, I stumbled upon (literally, from stumbleupon) a writing inspiration list called 30 Letters in 30 Days. Since my world has been a tad bit ho-hum lately I figured I'd give it a try. So, starting later today (after I've gone to bed, and really start my day) I will begin number one. Stay tuned for a letter-writing extravaganza!

Day 01 - Your best friend
Day 02 - Your crush
Day 03 - Your parents
Day 04 - Your sibling
Day 05 - Your dreams
Day 06 - A stranger
Day 07 - Your ex boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 08 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 09 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as often as you’d like
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate the most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 - Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad
Day 20 - Someone that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The person who gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only a day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but are too afraid
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror


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