Oh the joys of being a parent. I love my crazy little family, probably more than words can express. We have our battles (any parent of a 2-year-old does), but for the most part life is good. We giggle, we love Mickey Mouse, we play the tickle-bug game, we hold hands, we read stories, and we generally get along.
Make no mistake, however, life in the Gorgeous Borges house isn't all sunshine and roses. Let me tell you a little story about how our world has turned into a bit of a nightmare of late. This story is otherwise known as "The Time that Mommy was a Big Chicken and it Ended up Biting her in the Butt. Bigtime." Let me begin:
Once upon a time a young couple decided to have a baby. This baby decided that from the day he was born, he was going to love sucking on a binky. In fact, for much of the first year of his life, it was rare to see him without it. And let's be honest, shall we? Babies with binkies are cute (and quiet). Anyway, this sweet little round-cheeked lad had a mommy and a daddy that thought they knew it all. They just knew that after his first birthday that little binky was going away. And then that sweet little monkey-boy turned 1. There was a little party with much cake-smashing. It was adorable, trust me. But that sweet little monkey-boy's mommy was a big fat pushover, and his daddy was the ultimate softy. On the night of his first birthday, that little boy went to bed contentedly sucking away at his binky. So, the mommy and the daddy decided that for a little while he could keep it for awhile, but only when he was in his bed.
After about six months the mommy and the daddy decided it was time to (finally) grow a pair and take the binky away. So, one night they put the monkey-boy down without it. And he screamed, and he cried, and he wept and wailed and gnashed his teeth. It was not a pretty sight. So the mommy gave in and gave it back. And life was good. Everyone was sleeping, everyone was quiet, everyone was happy.
More time went on and the little boy turned 2. The mommy and the daddy decided it was time, once again, to try and take away the then-dubbed "bee-bee". It was a catastrophe. Mommy was a chicken and gave it back. And then finally, after much debate, it was decided that the bee-bee would go away forever in exchange for a Woody and Buzz doll. Everyone, including the monkey-boy, was agreeable to this plan... Until the dreadful day arrived. The bee-bee went away. The mommy cut it up so she wouldn't be tempted to give it back. She showed the cut-up bee-bee to the child and into the trash it went.
And here we are, kids, nearly a full month later. T-Bone is STILL crying himself to sleep pretty much every night. He's STILL waking up in the middle of the night and crying for Mommy and Daddy. He hasn't asked for the binky in 3 weeks, but he's still being a damned stubborn little man about the whole thing. So, if I seem a little off, it's from lack of sleep. And if I don't hear something you say it's because my ears are still ringing from all the screams. And if I seem a little reluctant to leave the monkey-boy with someone else while Greasemonkey and I go out of town, it's for the sake of the caregiver's sanity.
So, please, I beg of you... pray for the sleep of my child, because this mommy is slowly turning into a zombie.
Updated to add: After 1 month of this nightmare we finally figured out the trick. He just wanted to be tucked in under his dinosaur blankie. If only he'd shared that info with me a month ago...
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