Fat-Bottom Girls

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"

I'm never going to be a skinny girl. My hips will always be too big for skinny jeans. I'm always going to have an hourglass shape. I'm anything but petite.

But the time has come to do something about my weight problem. I've always been heavy. I've been overweight for 99% of my life. I did really well for awhile about losing weight and getting in shape.

I can blame any number of things: the strange hours I keep based on my work schedule, the fact that I can't seem to stay on a work out schedule by myself, genetics, all sorts of things. But the truth is, it all comes down to me. I make excuses for myself. I am my own enabler.

I know my husband loves me, but sometimes I wonder how attracted to me he his. I've put on about 30 lbs since we got married. Not knowing if I really wanted to hear it, but knowing that I needed to, I recently asked Curious George if he would be more attracted to me if I were thinner. His answer hurt a little bit, but it's become a big motivator for me. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Babe, would you be more attracted to me if I weighed less?
Him: What?
Me: You heard me, what do you think?
Him: Well, you know I love you.
Me: Yes, that wasn't the question. Would you be more attracted to me if I were thinner?
Him: Well, yeah, I guess so. Did we return that movie to Redbox?

Anyway, point of the matter is this. I don't look good. I don't feel good. I'm not comfortable in my own skin. I try and cook healthy and balanced meals. I try and get out of the house. But what it comes down to is this: I need to try harder. I need to do better. I need to BE better.

There are a lot of health problems in my gene pool that are exacerbated by being overweight. I'm only 25 but some of them are very real concerns. I could end up with diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, and any other number of risks. Being obese (there, I said the word: obese) can even make it harder to get pregnant. That's right: there's a link between obesity and infertility.

So, what am I going to do about it? I joined weight watchers. I've set up "walking dates" with a friend in my ward. I don't want to be the fat, funny one anymore. It's time for me to put my health first.

"The time has come," this walrus said,
"To try some different things:
walks --and fruits --and exercise--
and no more chicken wings--
and as this journey goes along
we'll see what the future brings."