Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Other Woman

Curious George is having an affair. It's purely emotional in nature, but I know it's going on. He's never tried to keep it a secret from me. I've met the Other Woman. I like her. In fact, we're rather close. I'm sure some of you have met her, as well. But I'm tired of this being a dirty little secret in our house. So, I'm calling out the Other Woman.

Her name is Gunna, Gunna Ammo to be exact. Yeah, my husband has a deep and abiding love of his mistress. In fact, Gunna and her sisters have taken up permanent residence in our home. He drools over pictures of her online. He takes her out on dates while I'm sleeping. He buys her expensive things. She's even been in my bedroom. Sometimes he likes to bring her with him when we go out together. What's a girl to do?

In all seriousness, however, I knew when I married him that Curious George was a "gun guy." I just don't think I realized that it would occupy his every waking thought. He eats, sleeps, and breathes guns. I thought that some of the mania would slow down when we both got our concealed weapons permits. It didn't. I thought it would slow down after we both got our "carry" guns. It didn't.

When we did our e-free week the thing I missed the most was blogs. The thing he missed the most? Shopping for guns on KSL Classifieds.

I told him once that when I married him, I married HIM. I didn't marry his motorcycle, his cars, his tools, or his guns. I love that he loves all of those things, but I love him. The person. I embrace his love of everything redneck (sometimes). I support that he has hobbies different from my own. In fact, for Valentine's Day, I bought him a belt buckle and cufflinks made from shotgun shells.

However, I'm afraid that he feels like he is defined by his stuff. What I see, from an outside of his head point of view, is that he loves these things because he loves people who love these things. So he loves motorcycles because his friends like motorcycles. He loves cars because his dad belonged to a car club. He loves guns because all of the important men in his life love guns.

I like guns too. I like to shoot. I like that I have a power beyond my own body for self-protection. But I don't want to lose him to his love of guns. I want to be able to talk to him about something else. I want him to be able to talk to other people about something else.

I'm afraid that his love of all things gun-related is going to overtake his ability to have a real connection with other people. But how do I tell him that?


Cheeseboy said...

This woman sounds AWESOME! I promised I would never cheat on my wife, but I the way you describe her...

Great blog. Very funny. AND...



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