Greatness

#17- What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

We are sleep training in our house right now.  For awhile T-Bone awesome sleeper that would take 2 naps a day, and still do a straight 12 hour stretch at night.  It was heaven.  And then about a month ago he started waking up at night.  For the life of us we couldn't figure out why. We tried everything we could think of the make it stop.  We rocked, we snuggled, we gave him a snack at bedtime, there were nights I finally just brought him into bed with me so I wouldn't have to get up every 20 minutes.

So, about a week ago I got this hare-brained idea that it was time to take away the binky.  I thought to myself, "If he doesn't use it anymore, he won't freak out at 3 in the morning when he wakes up and can't find it."  We'd done some sleep training with him before, and it had generally gone fairly well.  Usually by night three he was settled into the new routine. Anyway, back to taking away the binks...

After his first birthday we took them away except for when he was going to sleep (naps and bedtime). We originally planned to take the binkies away completely at a year, but I chickened out.  So, we decided that a good time to stop would be when I had several nights in a row off work so I could be the one dealing with it.  Let's just say that it's not going well.

I fully blame myself.  I'm an enormous pushover when it comes to my child, first of all.  When he's laying there screaming I want nothing more than to go and snuggle him and love on him.  It is also quite self-centered. I like my sleep.  As a full time mom working full time (mostly) night shifts, I live in a constant state of sleep deprivation. Any more missed sleep makes for a not-so-happy mama.

Which all brings me to the thing I most wish I was great at.  I wish I was great at patience.  When I decide I want something, I want it right now.  When I think it's time for my baby to be done with the binky, I think it should just go away with no problems. And he should sleep through the night. And I should have endless patience with the messes, the whining, the endless readings of "Edwina the Emu" and "Jamberry".

Most of the time my emotions are treading on the thin ice of my patience. If I could be great at one thing it would be patience with my child, my husband, my family, my friends, my coworkers, my patients, and everyone else around me.