Friday, August 27, 2010

On friendship...

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~William Blake

I have a tendency to be a bad friend. It's true, and it's something I've accepted about myself. I've tried hard to work on it, but old habits die hard. Anyway, I was feeling a little reminiscent about life today (while I couldn't sleep because Joe was active) and let me tell you exactly why I'm a bad friend:
1. I gossip. I'm a woman, I'm a nurse, and once you get me going this mouth doesn't stop moving for much. I know a woman who has a policy that she doesn't talk about anyone who isn't physically in her presence at the time of the conversation. Wow, that's dedication. I don't know if I'll ever get to that point, but I would like to try harder to not backbite. It's a horrible, nasty habit, and one I should get rid of.
2. I'm a bit of a "one-upper". If you tell a story, I will probably try and tell one bigger and better. If something weird happened to you, I can come up with a time something weirder happened to me. Again, another bad habit, and one I should break. I need to learn to let other people have their moment.
3. I'm selfish. I use the "I" word... a lot. I like to talk about myself. This one is a strange phenomenon for me, though, because it doesn't happen in the presence of casual acquaintances or strangers. I only get this way around people I consider friends. Without meaning to, I will turn almost any conversation back around to myself.
4. I don't think before I act. I do dumb stuff. A lot of dumb stuff. I generally don't consider other people's feelings before I do dumb stuff, either. As an adult, I look back at a lot of things I did and said to my friends in high school and college, and I could kick myself for it. I'm sure I made a lot of people really uncomfortable with my actions.
5. I like to be in the limelight. This is sort of the wrap up of all of the above. I like to be the center of attention sometimes. If I help with a party, it's probably because I want something out of it. If I do you a favor, I'm usually going to find some way to let it benefit me. I struggle with selfless service.
6. I have no follow through. I never call when I say I will. I rarely plan things that I should plan. You really can't rely on me for much of anything. And in the process of not following through, I'll make up excuses for why I didn't do whatever I was supposed to.
7. My feelings get hurt easily. I may not always let you know it, but if I'm not involved it stings. I like to know your secrets. If you have a club, I want to be a part of it. If you're throwing a party, I want an invitation. If I feel left out, my feelings get hurt... and I just won't tell you that they're hurt.

So, let me just finish with saying this: if my actions in any of the before-mentioned categories have affected you in any way, I apologize. And I promise I'm going to work on being a better friend.
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7 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I think most women like to gossip to some extent.

Scott and Kenzie Butler said...

Oh Annicka! One more thing that we are so like sisters on! I struggle with these exact same things! But like always...we just keep trying right? love ya!

Reid, Megan and Jackson said...

Oh man, as soon as that little boy comes into your life, you will change and for the better. You will realize that none of that matters and you will grow up. I did and let me tell you, if you did any of those things to me, on purpose, you would know. And it feels great to be able to know that I am an honest an up front person and I wouldn't say much behind your back that I wouldn't say to your face. and I attribute all of that to my children. In a way they raised me.

Annette said...

I think you might be a little too harsh on yourself here. Allow yourself to be human... we all have flaws we don't relish about ourselves. You forget that you are also genuine, kind, intelligent, witty, creative.... plus so much more! All these attributes hold more weight in friendships anyhow. Go ahead and smile and know that we love you.

The Turners said...

You know me... I gossip about as bad as anybody. You are a good friend with a lot goin' on. Nobody is perfect and we could all try a bit harder. I like that you are honest with yourself and others. You are a great person. Hope the house is coming along nicely! xoxo

The Turners said...

You know me... I gossip about as bad as anybody. You are a good friend with a lot goin' on. Nobody is perfect and we could all try a bit harder. I like that you are honest with yourself and others. You are a great person. Hope the house is coming along nicely! xoxo

Mom Hatch said...

I agree with Nettie. You have so many good qualities. I am sure we could all find things about ourselves we wish we could change. However, you have been blessed with so much. You are forgiving, understanding, spiritual, dependable, intelligent, and my daughter. So lighten up on yourself and know that you are loved.

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