Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Nightmare on Murray Holladay Road

I've worked night shifts for a long time. When I first started out in the land of the night I had no problem sleeping. I could lay my head down in the middle of the shift and spend my lunch break napping. I could come home in the morning and sleep the day away. I could even sleep in my own bed on my nights off.

When I got married I had a hard time getting used to sharing my bed. I was used to sleeping smack-dab in the middle of my (glorious after years of twin) queen-size bed. I struggled with rolling over and finding a body there, and looked forward to sleeping during the day when I'd, once again, have the bed to myself. Unisom and Tylenol PM became my best friends for awhile. And then one day it changed.

I spent my first night alone sometime this summer when Steve went to scout camp. It was ok, I was more bored than anything. Then he began a new job last month. Now, more often than not, I spend the majority of my nights off alone. That was when the nightmares started.

I've always had strange dreams (they run in my family, just ask my mom and sister), but these go above and beyond. Throughout my life I've had the occasional nightmare, but nothing like this. This is beyond anything I've ever experienced. I now wake up on a regular basis with heart racing, muscles tensed, tears in my eyes, gut-clenching fear.

And I have no idea why.

I've had nightmares about everything from family being killed, to my house being broken into with me still in it, to Steve leaving me for his first girlfriend Kandice (who, by the way, is happily married in the real world). And these all occur after I've finally lulled myself to sleep. I don't like being home alone. I miss having a warm body in the other side of the bed. And there's nothing I can do but get used to it, because this job is most likely going to be a long term one.

But what do I do about the nightmares?


Lena said...

Oh my, that really sucks. You might try some relaxation techniques. Something to calm your mind, get you ready for the night. Maybe some music or noise in the back ground would keep you slightly focused on the waking world. Hope it gets better!

jill said...

yuck. I don't know what to do about nightmares except go into a drug (tyl PM)induced coma. No beuno!


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