Sunday, August 23, 2009

Why We Suck

Dear Dr. Denis Leary,
I am writing to tell you that your book on CD Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Being Fat, Loud, Lazy, and Stupid nearly killed me this weekend. It's true, I wouldn't lie to a doctor. Let me tell you how this came to be:
I was at the library and wanted to find something entertaining to listen to on an upcoming road trip. I happened to glance down and see Why We Suck on display. I picked it up, read the synopsis on the back, and decided that it would be my book of choice.
Anyway, back to how I almost died. There I was, cruising along at a cool 80 mph, casually taking a sip from my water bottle, when you began expounding on the subject of "celebutards". I, quite unceremoniously, snorted water up my nose and nearly drove myself off the side of the road. And that was just the beginning of the laughter.
While I find your politics laughable, your language abhorrent, and your views on Jesus downright offensive, I tend to agree with you on almost everything. I particularly enjoyed your conversations with your mother. She sounds like the kind of mother that everyone should have, even with her strange obsession with "terrible cancer."
I also very much enjoyed, and agree with, your view on child-raising. I, too, feel that whenever possible the father should be out supporting the family, and the mother should be at home raising it. While I, like you, know that this is not always possible, it is something that should be carefully thought about and tried for... even if it means going without some of life's little pleasures sometimes. My children will never have a nanny, and hopefully they'll always think of me as Mommy, and not someone else.
In short, I would just like to thank you again for saying the things that most of our society is too politically correct to say... or too dumb to know are true. Thank you for your, sometimes brutal, honesty. Most of all, thank you for the laughs.
Your new-found fan,


Reid, Megan and Jackson said...

I guess I need to check that out!
By the way, you are a great writer!

Lena said...

Glad you didn't die.


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